Hil 

Where do I start when sharing my testimony, the story of God’s love leading me in the highs and lows of my life? I could tell you of a loving upbringing in a Christian home: Dad was a church organist and secondary school music teacher, Mum a primary school teacher. Sunday school taught me about the Bible and church drama group encouraged me to explore God’s love, but that wasn’t the point when I truly felt my heart move.
I could tell you about moving to a Baptist church with Phil, who was then my fiancé, and experiencing vibrant worship and a new understanding of the Holy Spirit though open prayer and house group fellowship, but that wasn’t the point when I experienced God’s love flooding my whole being.
I could tell you about moving from Yorkshire to live in Staffordshire and visiting several churches until we found the one (LCH) where we felt truly welcomed as ‘aliens’ into the area. The congregation encouraged us, first as an engaged couple, then when we were married and a few years later as our sons were born. They showed us that we had a family, even though we were away from our own. And I recognised God’s love amidst the fellowship and the prayer and the bible study and the church holidays. But I still hadn’t really opened my heart fully. That wonderful moment came later….
It isn’t easy being a young Mum away from your family. When we moved to Blythe Bridge in 1991, the toddler groups at the local Anglican and Methodist Churches became my support network: I met people who have become life-long friends and it was so good to be out of the house where I sometimes felt that I was climbing the walls!
It was on a beautiful, summer day, as I walked to one of these groups, that I remember truly understanding that God loved me - just as I am. I had our eldest son in his pushchair and was busily walking with my head down. Then I noticed him pointing up and a look of sheer wonder crossed his face. I followed his gaze. The sunlight streamed through the pale green leaves on the branches above us. The rays were strong yet gentle and warmed my face. I stopped and just looked. Time seemed to stop too.
In that moment I knew what it is to be loved. It was as if God was holding me in His hands, taking all of my insecurities and melting them away: I didn’t need to be perfect, didn’t need to have the perfect marriage or family, home or garden. I just needed to be. My Jesus, my Saviour has done the rest!
I have often returned to that moment, in times of doubt or stress – the valley times that we all experience. When we lost loved ones, God reminded me that there is no ‘perfect’ way to be. Instead I go with the times of tears and the memories which bring smiles. When I experienced a time of work-related stress affecting my health, God took that experience and used me alongside others. My senior role at school was linked to ‘work-life balance’ for staff and pupils and I became a Lay Witness, sharing my testimony at weekends in churches around the UK which God’s Spirit than used to move the hearts of others.
I returned to that moment a few years ago, when taking a break from training to be a Local Preacher: work was very busy, Phil was off school with stress and I needed to ask for prayer and support rather than to be one supporting others. Such is the nature of ‘being’ a Christian – that at times we have strength and yet at other times we should acknowledge need and receive. Prayer and practical support had us back on our feet and I returned to the LP studies – but with a renewed understanding that God loved me – just as I am!
In 2018 I shared my testimony again at the service in which I was accredited as a Local Preacher. All credit goes to our God, our Great Big God, who holds us in His hands!

Jigsaw – by HAH
 With many, uniquely shaped pieces of life
Scattered around our being,
Yet no box-shaped image to help
To ease our task
Sometimes we flounder,
Frustrated,
Impatient,
Wanting to know how our past can be healed, how our future will unfold.
 
With annoyance we brush bits aside
Allowing them to fall
Down,
Away,
Misplaced in dark shadows
Or hidden by more alluring temptation.
 
We turn away from His word, which instructs,
Walk from our task
To easier things.
……….
Yet He calls us back
And with love, helps us to find those missing parts.
The dark places are illuminated.
The falseness of temptation
Revealed in all its weakness.
 
And gradually,
Painstakingly,
Scrap by scrap,
Our Lord helps us to piece our lives together
Revealing an image
So full of love
And power
And beauty
That only He knows what we can expect.
 
He holds out to us that final, cross-shaped part,
That important link
With His loving heart.
That one day
We too
Will be complete.